Report: The NFL is Still Getting to the Bottom of That Huge Spygate 2 Investigation Everyone's Talking About

Source - The NFL is getting closer to wrapping up its investigation into the Patriots’ videotaping incident from December, league sources told the Globe at the NFL Combine.

The investigation has been ongoing since mid-December, shortly after the Patriots were caught illegally filming the Bengals’ sideline from the press box on Dec. 8.

But last week, NFL Security completed what is believed to be the final interview with a Patriots employee. Now the security officials must write up their report, then hand it up the chain of command, where it will eventually land on the desk of commissioner Roger Goodell, who will approve of a final course of action.

Let's do some math here. The Patriots are accused of pointing a video camera at the Bengals sideline on December 8th. On February 26th, NFL sources tell the Globe they're "getting closer to wrapping up" the investigation. That's 80 days. And counting.

On September 24th, the US House of Representatives announced impeachment hearings into Donald Trump. They began calling witnesses shortly thereafter, and released a 658-page report on December 16th. Two days later, the 18th, they began to vote on impeachment. That's a total of 83 days. 

So a polarized, two-party legislative body filled with pervy kleptocrats on both sides of the political divide was able to conduct an investigation as to whether or not the duly elected Chief Executive of the country should be removed from office in about the time than it's taken the NFL to decide what to do about a film crew pointing a camera at a terrible team.

Yeah, that's about it. Whatever your opinion on the impeachment was, you have to be impressed with the fact an incompetent Parliament of Whores was at least quicker to carry out their second most sacred duty (After declaring war. Der.) faster than Roger Goodell's Secret Police have been figuring out if the Patriots cheated.

 The kicker is, it's not like the league hasn't gotten full cooperation. They have. Kraft Productions immediately handed over the video files, the phone records, and the crew gave the full story to investigators. It's not like there's been any new developments in the last, I don't know, 78 days or so. And yet a mystery that Encyclopedia Brown would've wrapped up in six pages or so still drags on. Into March, unless some miracle happens. And the only time the NFL talks about it is when they're asked.

Which is really the funny - and by funny I mean peculiar funny, not LOLZ funny - thing about this one. The absolute radio silence on this one. Where are the well-timed leaks to ESPN? The whispers to Stephen A. Smith that have just enough of a grain of truth to make the Patriots sound guilty. The unnamed sources suggesting that the camera crew are about to come public and rat out Ernie Adams as the mastermind who put them up to it. The rumblings that supposedly Belichick is furious at Mr. Kraft for putting him in this position or RKK being mad at Belichick for creating this culture of always pushing the rules to the edge and crossing that line. There's been none of that. 

Call me overly cynical, but I think if the NFL had even a subatomic particle of proof to suggest Spygate 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me was anything other than a clueless camera operator capturing B-roll for a "Do Your Job" featurette for the team's web page, this wouldn't still be going on. The league would've come down on the Pats with Thor's hammer by now. More to the point, they don't have anything and do not want to admit the Patriots football operations are innocent. Instead, they'd rather ride it out and hope the public forgets about it than come clean with the painful truth. 

I've been waiting since December for the day the Pats are exonerated for this stupid mistake. After 80 days with no end in sight, I'm convinced that day will never come.